Friendship, one of the most important facets of life, but it also can be complicated. Friends can help us celebrate the best of times, and also be there through the worst of times. Did you know that Friendships can affect our health and wellness?
A study conducted by the University of Chicago found that people who have strong social networks are less likely to die prematurely compared to people who feel isolated and alone. Studies have shown people ranging in age from teens to those in their 90's showed that people with larger social networks had healthier and better blood pressure than those with fewer friends. Friends can help us keep our minds sharp and focused by engaging us in conversation.
The topic of Friends is a hard subject for me. It seems like it would be the easiest subject in the world because I have true friends that I love. But friendships have come and gone and lots of times it's hard to accept. There are not a lot of blogs or much information at all about friendship. By doing research even Sarah Cunningham has found this to be true. She list top 10 must-reads for friendship sites and her research blogs she list are not just straight-up friendship sites. They weave through related topics like community, relationship-building and putting people first.
"In society, we always tend to say you know I'm friends with this person, I'm friends with that person, but in reality, we're not, it's an acquaintance." quote from Iman, Mobinah's only friend.
According to the "friendship theory," by Mobinah there are only six types of friendships. They are:
- pre -acquaintance - know each other names, a little about them
- acquaintance, casual co-workers, colleagues and kinds of people you run into
- acquaintance you've known for a while, but only see in groups as opposed to one on one
- people you care deeply about and feel strongly connected to, but don't see regularly
- pre -friend
- somebody with whom you share "mutual feelings" and cares immensely in every domain of their life
According to Mobinah, her theory originates from her personal experiences and she says friendship is not complicated and looks at most of her friendships as being black or white, categorized, and uncomplicated.
She believes that only 1% of the people she knows are her friends.
I believe friendship is a little more complex. I believe in the theory of; there are friends for a reason, friends for a season, and some friends for a lifetime. I am lucky enough to have been blessed with all! I don't see everyone all the time, in fact, I don't actually see some of my true friends hardly at all, but we still stay connected. We talk on the phone, sometimes for hours catching up. And yes there's Facebook and Instagram to stay in contact. Sometimes a phone call just feels a little more personable. It is important to make time for your friendships no matter what chapter your friendship is in. Even if it's scheduling something for 3 mos out, it will keep the friendship going.
What constitutes a friend? Someone who is there for you and you enjoy each other's company. A family member can be a friend sometimes your best friend! It seems like when we are young we are always looking for a friend. We should be taught that early on our family members can make the best friends. In my opinion, it is not the number of friends you have, but the # of friends you have that you can count on.
A real friend does not get mad at you for having other friends. Because our life changes and we are growing as a person its healthy to acquire new friends throughout your life. People show up in your life for a reason. It's up to you to be open and let them in. When you are living a healthy lifestyle the right people show up exactly when you need them. By habit, you tend to become who you spend time with. So if you are spending time with the people who want the same things in life that you do it gives you motivation and inspires you to reach your goals. If you are hanging out with the gang every day at happy hour and everyone is complaining about life, jobs, spouses or significant others.... well...remember you become who you spend time with. "Tony Robbins" Also apply the Law of Attraction here.
Age, race, religion, politics none of these should be a factor when having a friendship with someone. Of course, there may be certain subjects off the discussion table, you just have to understand everyone is different and you love them for the person they are.
Friendships always seem to be put into categories. Depending on what pattern and what chapter of life you are in does define most friendships. Just remember just because you may have your definition of friendship doesn't always mean they have the same feelings attached to your friendship. Some people and more so because of Instagram, Facebook and other social media are longing to have friends. Remember if you are looking for a friend don't smother your new friend by having to define the friendship. All of a sudden you are BFF'S. That title shouldn't be taken lightly. A BFF is a person or persons that you can share your innermost feelings with, good or bad and they will still be there for you not judge you, and still love you. You have to have complete trust in the person before you start spilling your guts to them. Or at least you should. Because if not, your most sacred feelings and private information could be all over...... nowadays even the internet!
A friend is there in fun times. A friend will be there to make you laugh, and even travel the world with you. A friend will be with you in the saddest of times to help pick you up. If you Mutually care about each other's life including physical, mental and soul, you care about their thoughts, elations, and fears. They don't get mad at you for doing things with new friends. They are not jealous of you. They can easily give and receive honest opinions. They are willing to put your happiness before the friendship. Be happy for you when you soar and meet your life's dreams. You make sacrifices for your friends by going out of your way to bring them somewhere when you really don't have the extra time. You listen if they just need to talk. You feel completely at ease when you are around them. They are a TRUE Friend.
Friends make life fun! Make time and enjoy your friendships because one or both of you may take on a different chapter in life that changes your friendship. If you happen to still be friends with a childhood friend, you will have had your share of fights through the years and probably consider yourself more like sisters or brothers. If you are lucky enough to have that true and special friendship or friendships, know that you have found a jewel because true friendships don't just always happen, especially lifetime friends. So if it happens to you, be A TRUE FRIEND and know they are a special gift from God.
-- LULU KISS